Sponge bath it is.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Can I color on your dick again?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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