My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
