dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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