Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
