Need sex. Gaining weight.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
