I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
