This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize