I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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