You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
