Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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