just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
