Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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