Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Sober January is a disaster.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
