Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
