Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize