just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
