i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
