HIV tests are more positive than that guy
is wine microwaveable?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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