Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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