Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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