dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
