i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
