new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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