Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
