i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
