Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Can i not drive my cunt home
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
