Your tits are I can't wait for
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
this hospital has no fireball
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
