They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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