I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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