Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
