i jhust puked up my retainher.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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