no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
