Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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