She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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