Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
