I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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