so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
