honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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