It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize