at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
