turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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