Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
