i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
