she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
