Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
