She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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