Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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