Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
