if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
