Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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