We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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