I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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