fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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