she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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