so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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