Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
