More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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