we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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