Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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