I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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